Divorces cost money, can cause stress when there are items, homes, and children involved. He is likely going through his own personal hell, right now, and he will need all the support he can get. I am really full of anxiety today and trying to hold it together. He now says he was caught up in the safety, lust and nuturing of our early relationship and that he does not love me and should not have said it. I am not interested in any other men and I really did love him, although I realize now that he could not have felt the same and changed his mind only 30 days later.
Not just that, but you have to realize that a bond that some people hold in such a high regard was broken. His head and heart are in the middle of a knock down drag out fight and until that ends, he won't be able to move forward properly. I am divorced, 38 and this is the only man I have felt this comfortable with and loved openly. I believe I was his rebound girl after his marriage broke up. It is hard to forget all the things that were said and he clearly does not have the same emotional investment in this that I do. It seems that he is very confused about many things regarding our relationship.
We live in different states and we only got to see eachother about 15 times in the entire 15 months but I fell for him hard and fast and have developed a painfully strong emotional attachement to him.
The last 6 months have not been good, he goes hot and cold and I asked him several times was he just interested in me for sex and he alsways said no and the fact I even asked such a question was nuts.
But actions speak louder than words and I guess I knew in my gut that I am really just a distraction for him right now and once I have served my purpose and he has got through his divorce and healed, he will move on and I will be nothing to him.
I told him when we met at the weekend that I felt I was nothing more than a distraction and I didn;t think he would ever want more than just a piece of me and that I would get hurt.
Imagine what kind of issues he has in general when it comes to the opposite sex. I am really struggling to stop crying and not feel like a failure. I'm not sure it would be healthy for me to pursue a friendship with him, any thoughts???? You will feel it when you are not emotionally attached to him and his decisions.
I just didn't see it coming, I really thought he was into me. I am a guy and have never been in his situation, but I can even tell that he is pushing you away prematurely because of his own confusions and inabilities to committ right now...because of his divorce.
It could also be he is going through a rough time and doesn't want to be dissing on you. It also may be that he wants to be sure about all his feelings and needs space. The vacation went well so I was confused and upset by his actions. If you can be there for him, without causing yourself pain, you may find a friendship grows that he relies on. I am trying to keep it together at work but it is challenging. I received a text from him today telling me not to be sad because I will meet my "prince charming on my next holiday" (which is the end of March).
I was gutted that he just sat back and let me say my piece and he didnt give me any rebuttal or even try to reassure me that I am more to him than just a distraction.
I was happy before I met him, and he came into my life leading me to believe that we would fall in love and end up together forever and now I know that he never really wanted me.
It definitely is comforting to know that soo many others out there have experienced this, I thought I was the only one foolish enough to have been sucked in to his tornado. Us woman cling on to the fantasy that we are going to end up happily ever after together and really they just want to fill the sexual void until they are free to go out there and openly date other woman.
I really think I am zoo naive and must have the word TARGET indented on my forehead because I seem to so vulnerable to these types of men.