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It’s true even with dementia: A 2004 Swedish study found its lowest prevalence among those with the most extensive social networks.

In response, rather than spend evenings at home reading or working, Pinker now swims on a team (group exercise providing “more bang for her buck”) and makes a point of attending more social events.

An Australian sociologist investigating community responses in the wake of the 2011 floods in Queensland found relations in “a precarious balance”; neighbours were hesitant to intrude even in emergencies—leading the scholar to conclude that “we are less likely than ever to know” our neighbours.

We may say we are disturbed by the fact that we no longer know our neighbours, but, to a largely unspoken extent, distance from the hard work of getting along with them is precisely what we want.And our pursuit of autonomy and privacy is often for good reason.Compare the lives of ethnic and sexual minorities now and two generations ago.Hell is other people, claimed Jean-Paul Sartre, and contemporary Westerners agree with him.We have long worked to separate ourselves from relationships and social norms that restrict us.

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