He is making long term plans for vacations so I know he wants to be with me.However, I am concerned he is jumping into another commited relationship too quickly and I even gave him the option of "playing the field" a few months ago so he would know his options. Now I am not sure what to do or know what I am in for.I can tell you, four months out of a divorce, he's not looking for the next Mrs. I hang on so tight that they slip out of my hand, I get attached too easily, I am a very attractive young woman, I didn't have a dad growing up, no close relationship with my brother, I don't know... Im not looking for true love this very moment, I know if I rush into something It will all fail, thats what happened to my last two relationships, I don't want that. He said earlier that he wants to be friends "for now" He said he thought he was ready for a relationship but isnt "right now" I asked him if he was going back to his ex wife and he said "no, not at all", Im not trying to set myself up for failure", how could I be with someone else when I cant stand up on my own two feet alone? In all honesty this is kind of good, I need to find balance in my own life and I dont have that right now, I need to concentrate more on me and establish myself more. His children will always take away from time with your and your relationship with him.But now its gonna be in the back of my head "well are we or aren't we" "what is all this turning into, does he like me and want to move forward or am I standing still" I am a huge "what if" thinker and Its hard to think positive in my case. " I know he is struggeling to find balance with work and money and his children. Im gonna just try and keep myself busy, not bother him and live my life. He will ALWAYS have love for his ex as she is the Mother of his children, their is always the possiblity they will get back.I m younger and independent women never been in a relationship before.
i've never dated a man with children and I just want to do the right thing! In your original post you even said you moved too fast. Despite how long he and his wife were separated, despite how long it's been since the divorce was finalised(and in this case it really wasn't that long)he's dealing with the end of a marriage and that's a pretty serious big deal. You say you're going to back off to the point where you won't even be around anymore. Now, instead of giving in to your paranoia(and does this have some basis? Because we could be looking at the genesis of your problems.} you should calm down and see where this goes. If you are willing to give it another shot, and at this point it all hinges on you, remember to go as slow as you can go. He can never give you 100% of anything time, money.Drama will rear it's head eventually and could lead you to places you'd rather not go. Stay a step back at all times and let him come to you. When gets really comfortable with you eventually the kids will.There will be plenty of times that he will want to spend time with you and you only for now (if you can do it) devote your times with him and the kids, like the zoo, museum, Hicking, Biking or what every.Now i see that he is worried how our life will be with his kids, he loves his kids and put them first i have no problem with that.I think he wants to take a step a little back i asked him about it but he said if it were for him we would marry asp!!