They’re all in the notes section of my phone: the 26-year-old graphic designer from Baltimore. A couple of actor/bartenders who live within a five-mile radius of my place in Central Los Angeles.
The 37-year-old who works at an ad agency, has a sweet pit bull, and an enviable vinyl collection — but is so obviously not over his ex-fiancée.
Now that I'm older, I usually tend to only have strong feelings for one guy at a time.”Though dating a horde of people can feel fun and freeing, for most adventurers, it isn’t entirely sustainable.
“I don’t plan on dating this way forever,” Monica says.
“I could only juggle three people at a time for one-month spans before it got out of hand — someone would freak out or want commitment,” she says.
“I dated someone for nine months that came out of a rotation.
“Rotations give you the opportunity to not close doors on people who may be great for you.
“It helps to be selective and seek people who are independent enough to not need lots of attention or you get sucked in to a relationship-like situation quickly.”Then there’s the slippery question that looms: I know I can casually date a few people at once, but is it possible to have strong feelings for more than one person at a time?While they’re serial dating, they’re losing out on opportunities to date other great people.” agrees.“Dating several men can be a good choice for women, because many women tend to settle for the first man who comes along,” she says.And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.