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I realize I’ve been posting a lot of entries in my “How To Survive” series recently.

I usually like to spread them out, but I guess it’s just been one of those weeks where these urgent issues seem to be confronting us constantly.

That comes out to a whopping 90 bottles of soju each year for every Korean person over the age of 20.

Jinro, the most popular brand of soju, is the best-selling liquor on the planet earth. I’ll get her drunk, her inhibitions will drop and we’ll be ending the night playing hide the .

In other words, he will be tailing you two on your date. He’ll be the handsome Korean guy who looks like a cross between a runway model and a street thug dressed in black: At some point, he will come up to you (probably drunk) and challenge you to a fight. Their weapons of choice are usually knives, baseball bats, wooden boards and hammers. Now, if you survive all this and you escort your date home, keep in mind that you will NOT get lucky on the first date so don’t even try.

Still, they can be scary, but my advice to you is to do nothing. Until you’ve handed over an appropriate amount of bling over a set period of time to remove that invisible chastity belt (it can take weeks or years—be patient—remember, you’re climbing Mt.

In fact it can be downright frustrating no matter how much you love each other!

You will get sucked in and there is no coming back. You’re at the fancy restaurant—Ashton and Demi cuddling at the next table over–and the waiter comes by and asks if the two of you would like a drink. I read a statistic just today that said that in Korea, over three million bottles of soju are consumed every year (this is just soju, doesn’t include other alcohol).

She is not going to put out just because she’s drunk. Maybe it’s some secret we Koreans are not suppose to divulge, but I’m going to do it anyway.

If you are dating a hot KA chick, I guarantee she is going to have a jealous ex-boyfriend who is a , a Korean gangster or wannabe gangster, stalking her. Which brings us to the final thing you need to know about KA women— End of threat.

But I’m going to assume that you are a normal Joe, you don’t have that kind of money and there are days when your 15 year old Honda Civic won’t even run. After all, you’ll be skipping lunch for the next 12 months so you can lease that expensive car (make sure it’s black), purchase your finely tailored Italian suit and pay for the meal at the hottest restaurant so you want things to go smoothly.

The main thing to remember is—, under any circumstances, go within a half mile radius of any high-end shopping mall, Rodeo Drive, Brentwood—basically any place where she has the chance to say any variation of the following phrase: If you let this happen, it is the beginning of the end, my friend.

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