Some widowers get married very quickly after their loss. Then there are those who wait, and wait, and wait some more, unable to commit. Realistically, it takes special effort by both parties to develop a bond after a spouse has died. She must get some answers and then make an intelligent decision to wait or leave.
Some men get used to being alone, even though they say they don’t want to be by themselves. It’s not like buying a car and knowing you can trade it in a year or 2 later if it isn’t what you want; this one is for life.
As my late husband lay in the intensive care before being moved to hospice, his mother sent her best friend to query me about life insurance. You would be amazed – or maybe not – by the people who truly believe that inheritance is a given and have their hands out sometimes way in advance of your death.
A sizable proportion of adult children are like this.
This man has little experience with women, other than his late wife.
So you see a widower online, and you are thinking, “What a great catch this man is! ” Not having done your homework and investigated the challenges, you are encouraged.Perhaps he invites you to his house, but everywhere you go, even the bathroom, reeks of her. He may keep you hidden from them at first, not knowing how they will react to their father with another woman. Such a man may tell you that he is working through his grieving process and that he is trying to learn to love someone again.You try not to get your feelings hurt; but alas, it is impossible to believe that he wants anything to do with you, when her presence is everywhere. Or, he might introduce you, but they may not want to meet you, or get to know anything about you. “Trying” to love you is not a phrase you want to hear.They are adults who mostly ignore our advice in favor of what works best for them, and they build their own adult lives with their own spouses and their own kids.And if we did a good job raising them, they really shouldn’t be running to us with their hands out – ever. Yes, I would agree, but inheritance doesn’t fall into that category.